Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

We were warned about the “Crazy Murdering Software Bugs”

Sunday, October 1st, 2017

Some time ago this comic strip was published

It actually took me some time to figure it out.

The robots are programmed in the programming language C, and the robots went berserk because the engineers simply missed an equal sign in a conditional statement, turning it into an assignment instead of a comparison.

This kind of an error is called a software bug.

Software bugs are very real, and can have have dire consequences, here’s a list of some of the most significant ones. The list includes rocket, airplane and helicopter crashes, patients dying from radiation overdoses and payments ending up in the wrong accounts, so why not crazy murdering robots?

Somewhat alarming, it is possible to make the same mistake in the more modern programming languages, C#, Java and JavaScript that are derived from C, and it makes me wonder why these languages even permit this, and old languages like BASIC and ALGOL never did?

My guess is that it is mostly to maintain compatibility with it’s predecessor C, and that it can be useful in some cases, but I consider it strange and potentially dangerous, and it makes me wonder if current mainstream programming languages, especially those derived directly from C, should be our choice for programming anything.

Exterminators

A redeeming factor, is that for instance the C# development tools warns us about the error, and that the compiler even suggests the correct solution, but it’s still possible to run the program, and make the robot a crazy murdering one.

We were warned about the CrazyMurderingRobots

External links and references

Facebook discussion

IRL Klottersanering #wikipedia

Sunday, March 19th, 2017

Counter Vandalism Unit-en

Almindelige søde, raske danske knægte i S-Toget. En af dem siger, mens han roder med den håndholdte internetterminal, sådan en alle sunde, raske danske drenge har:

Jeg kan lave en wiki for dig, bare skriv noget random shit, alle kan skrive der!

Jeg henvender mig til dem, i det jeg peger på min Wikipedia-sticker der dækker æble-logoet på min laptop, og siger:

Det bliver slettet, der er nogen der overvåger det.

Dreng:

:-O gør du det?

Mig:

Nej, men jeg kender nogen der gør.

#herligt det skal nok få dem til at prøve hårdere på at teste patruljanternes tålmodighed 😀 / :'(, og hvad mon deres forældre siger til at ældre mænd henvender sig til deres drenge, selv om det er for at påpege vandalisme og hærværk.

Kartoffel OG Tomat

Tuesday, July 12th, 2016

I’m gonna take my time
She gon’ get hers before I
I’m gonna take it slow
I’m not gonna rush the stroll

If you don’t know by now
@kim_bach is a freak, freak, freak
I keep the faith with me
Seven days of the week, week, week

And all that we ever do
Is play in the sheets, sheets, sheets
And hack up a site
And go back to sleep, sleep, sleep

Bredbåndsfyr! BRED!båndsfyr! BREDBÅNDSfyr! BREDBÅNDSFYR!

Thursday, July 7th, 2016

Bredbåndsfyr! BRED!båndsfyr! BREDBÅNDSfyr! BREDBÅNDSFYR!

Bredbåndsfyr: “Antennestik? Hvor vi skal hen har vi ikke brug for antennestik!”

Svar: “Nå! Og hvordan skal jeg så se Tekst TV?” (hvidt flag og håndklæde kastes)

Jeg er #protestgartner

Sunday, August 16th, 2015

Jeg er #protestgartner

Som den opmærksomme læser, på Facebook og Twitter, måske erindrer, havde jeg gang i et køkkenhaveprojekt i den have jeg har brugsret til.

Det stoppede ejerforeningen fordi de var bange for at “andre ville gøre det samme” og at det ville resultere i ukrudt.

Lad os bare sige at der skete det at der var “nogle” der “tabte” nogle frø og at jeg mistede motivationen til at passe græsplænen :-).

Bare rolig kære ejerforening, jeg skal nok “rydde op” når denne lille barnlige protest mister min interesse :-), det er om ca. 14 dage.

ps. Salaten er rigtig god og der er også masser af krydderurter, som f.eks. dild. Cikorien har plantet sig selv, og jeg synes den er utrolig smuk, det er imponerende ukrudt.

Min hobby: “#kliklandmand”

Thursday, August 13th, 2015

Hand

Free file from pixabay

Der er jo mange, bla Anders Høgh Nissen, der taler om privatliv og at annoncørerer ved alt om os, og det er skam et væsentligt problem.

Jeg tager det stadig ikke særligt alvorligt, selv om jeg nok burde gøre det.

Igen, så tager jeg heller ikke mig selv, eller annoncørerne alvorligt, så her er min hobby:

Jeg er “#kliklandmand”.

Når jeg keder mig og især når jeg får sponsoreret indhold, jeg ikke bryder mig om, på Facebook, trykker jeg på det.

Det betyder at Mark Zuckerberg bliver rigere og idioter der annoncerer på Facebook fattigere. Sådan en slags moderne, nok omvendt, Robin Hood.

Jeg er dog flink og giver som regel annoncørerne et “synes godt om”, det koster dem i øvrigt sikkert ekstra \o/.

Det betyder naturligvis at jeg “synes godt om” rigtig mange underlige ting (977 i alt i skrivende stund) som jeg slet ikke synes om, men mon ikke jeg automatisk bliver sorteret fra i big data algoritmerne som høje og lave karakterer i isdans.

Jeg har i øvrigt haft folk fra Open Knowledge Danmark til at prøve at identificere nogle af mine holdninger udfra min Facebook profil, de var “noget” forvirrede 🙂

Til gengæld er jeg vist ret let at diagnosticere udfra min blog, det er der også nogle der har gjort, men da jeg allerede har en officiel journal og en diagnose, er der faktisk en del forsikringer jeg ikke kan få…

Her har vi “måske” fat i et større privatlivsproblem end reklamer, og det kan du ikke blokere, hvis du ellers ønsker at fortsætte med at være dansk statsborger.

Nøglebrik

Saturday, June 6th, 2015

“Sorte Limfjordsmagier, klamme Hansi Hinterseer potpourrier og at favne en islandsk vulkan indtaget gennem franske house filtre!!!! puuuuurrrrrfect”

Al-Queda 6.2831853

Saturday, March 14th, 2015

SJ> Ifølge Venstre så får Pi alt for mange decimaler – Med Venstre ved magten bliver Pi skåret ned til 3.

Kim Bach: Jeg synes bare vi skal indføre base-Pi og kalde det 1. På den anden side er der vist nogle der mener at tallet skulle være 2*Pi, så det bliver NEMT at skrive omkredsen for en cirkel, den bliver bare “r” i base 2*Pi (også kendt som Tau).

SJ> radius =z tykkelse=a volume =Pizza (Pi X z X z X a)

Kim Bach: den bliver så mere kompleks i base 2*Pi Pi*z*z*a/2/Pi=z*z*a/2 hvis vis sætte a/2 = Top så får vi ZZTop eller også er min matematik FCKD.

(ja, ja den er FCKD for z og z og a da skal OGSÅ divderes med 2*Pi eller hvordan er det nu? Vi holder os vist til heltallige baser , eller hvad med Base Al-Queda ren Boko Haram, slut med vestlig viden, løgn, latin og Pi(z)(z)(a) )

“Babalon”

Saturday, February 7th, 2015

I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast
Full of names of blasphemy and written on her
Forehead was MYSTERY – Babalon the great
Mother of Harlots and abominations of the earth.

Then an angel cried, saying Babalon is fallen and
Become the habitation of devils and the hold of
Every foul spirit. For all nations of the earth have
Drunk the wine of the wrath of her fornication and
The kings of the earth have fornicated with her,
And the merchants of the earth are waxed rich
Through the abundance of her delicacies.

Chorus:
Babaloon the Great -mud mother
Babaloon the Great -soil sister
Babaloon the Great -she was Mary Magdalena
Babaloon the Great -she’s your Whore Madonna

I believe in one earth, the mother of us all and in
One womb wherein all men are begotten and
Wherein they shall rest, mystery of mystery, in her
Name,
Babalon, crimson queen, she was painted,
Tainted, unclean
Undermining family life
Everybody’s mistress, nobody’s wife

Our father lied -she never died
Love became obsession and gulf between body

And soul opened wide
Conscience was a bleeding heart
Tore all lovers apart
Made a sword in the shape of a cross and a bomb that
Cried
“God’s on your side.”
He said “You’re born to die, life’s all sorrow
Don’t change the world, think only of tomorrow”
Millions were killed, tortured and maimed
Allah be praised, she ought to be ashamed

Chorus:
She’s not a screen dream to hang on the wall
Or a wet machine to peep beneath your pillow
She’s not your girl next door or an ice queen to
Waste away for
She’s Babalon, equal to man
She’ll do what she wants to do what she can
But Gad said the word, still heard now
“If she’s not a virgin, she must be a cow”

Sparge verba, sparge verba, sparge verba ѕ
Venus orta mari
Exaudi penis carmina blanda precor
Phallum ejaculum tibi feram semper in meo amore

Babalon, I’m waiting for you, I’m begging for you
Babalon listen to me, listen to me etc. NOW
Babalon you’ve got to come back
Bababababababababa Babalon
Please come back
Bababababababababababababa

New high-score

Monday, September 15th, 2014
New high score

As far as I can see, this was my 40K, and I average just a little more than 19 Tweets/day.

The Full Monty


ps. Just for the record, I have wasted FAR more than 333 hours on Twitter on my 10 accounts.