Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Today is #talkhttpday

Saturday, April 4th, 2009

Yes, today I’m going to talk HTTP instead of shit.

This post will be updated throughout the day

https://twitter.com/timeline/home#search?q=%23talkhttpday
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTTP
http://www.w3.org/Protocols/

HTTP/1.1 200

The fun thing is that this little game started on Facebook, right now I’m using a combination of Facebook and Twitter to co-create the revolution of the mellemrumssingularitet .

ps. it’s unfortunate that I have to use twitter and facebook, because Jaiku can do it all…

http://www.jaiku.com/channel/talkhttpday

Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow

Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. Put your iPod or other music player on shuffle.
  2. For each question, press the NEXT button to get your answer.
  3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
  4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Piano Concerto No. 21 in C Major, K. 467: II. Andante – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Friedrich Gulda, Hans Swarowsky & Vienna State Opera Orchestra

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Mellow Mood – Material

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Calabi Yau Manifold – Dopplereffekt

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE
100 bpm – Mikæl Simpson

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Sexy Dancer – Prince

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Le Printemps (For Mona) – Natacha Atlas

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?
Freeland – Big Wednesday

WHAT IS 2+2?
All’ Aurora – Bernhard Lewkowitch

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS
Mistlur – Martinez

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sugar Never Tasted So Good – The White Stripes

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
When The World Ends (Oakenfold Remix) – Dave Mathews Band

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Fourty Days – Sound Directions

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
The Ostrich Effect – Dorit Chrysler

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Hayati Inta – Natacha Atlas

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Zorba’s Dance – The Sirtaki Orchestra

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Circus – Kelis

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Fynboen – Dirch Passer

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Kada sva sama – Olivia

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
The Matrix Revolutions Main Title – Don Davis

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Who’s My Baby – Natacha Atlas

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Momentos – Andrea Bocelli

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
At Least You Tried – Neo Geo

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Achilles – Antena

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
long life – E.T.

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
The Boy From West Bronx – Future 3

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
All Day – Interfarence

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Dolphin Dance – Herbie Hancock

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Bliv Ved Med At Danse – MC Einar

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow – Brian Wilson

Tagged by Laura Marie Kiralfy on facebook, originally posted to facebook as Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow

One final thing: How do you like them Apples? – The spotlight turns to notebooks

Sunday, October 12th, 2008

Applenotebookevent - The spotlight turns to notebooksA draft of Steve Jobs’ presentation for the Notebook Event titled “The spotlight turns to notebooks” scheduled to take place on October 14th 2008 in Cupertino, has been leaked.

Since rumour has it that Apple is softening up to rumour sites: if you don’t like me publishing this rumour: SOSUME.

“Gi’ mig Danmark tilbage” by Natasja is blasting the Cupertino speakers!

Steve Jobs takes the stage

(applause)

Welcome, and thank you for coming.

One first thing:
Apple has realized that we can’t compete with Linux and has decided to make an investment in Linux. So we’re discontinuing Mac OS X in favour of Linux with KDE, all Mac OS X developers will instead be working on contributing to Linux, ending years of, mostly, passive and luke warm support for the open source movement. Apple wants to appologise for this mal-pratice, and all code will be shared back with the community.

The next version of Mac OS X will be renamed Linux Snow Leopard, and it will be licensed under the GPL – meaning that it can be freely copied, and installed, on any computer.

(oooooh)

Linux Snow Leopard is available as a free download from Apple AppStore, and it is available…NOW!

(applause and cheers)

The reason for this change is that captalism, as we knew it is dead, instead of competing to death and the focus on economic growth, that is destroying the planet, human kind will instead work to improve the quality of life for all.

Democratisation of technology will be instrumental in bringing these changes.

Apple wants to be part of this.

(Steve moves the cover on the table, pulls out a picture frame with a picture of Richard Stallman on one side and Nicholas Negroponte on the other side, from this frame he pulls out a beautiful sub-notebook)

So today I’m happy to announce the insanely great TuxBook, developed in coorporation with Asus.

Asus is bringing the change, and since our old notebooks really weren’t anything but repackaged Asus products anyway, we’ve decided that Jonathan Ive will now be working full time making Asuses look cool.

The TuxBook comes with 2GB RAM, 32GB SSD, WiFi, Bluetooth, a 3G modem and A-GPS. It sports 8 hours of batterylife, and can, optionally, be solarpowered.

Demo:
(The splash screen is a Penguin holding an Apple)

Isn’t that beautiful? KDE 4.1: BOOM!

The TuxBook will be priced at $99, and it is available…NOW!

Thank you all for coming, and Karl Marx was right.

(applause)

One more thing:
Since you can’t make money on stock, APPL will be unlisted from the stock exchange, Apple will in the future be a Section 501(c)(3) not-for-profit charity.

One final thing:
How do you like them Apples?

(standing ovations and wild cheers: T-U-X what’s that spell? TUX!, what’s that spell? TUX!)

xkcd: Command Line Fu: “I’m trying to forget it”

Saturday, August 16th, 2008

xkcd: Command Line Fu

Her: “I’m trying to forget it” (in Danish: “Jeg prøver at fortrænge det!”).

I miss her!

xkcd – A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language – By Randall Munroe

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

xkcd – A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language – By Randall Munroe

I love xkcd, it’s way over my own humour, which, frankly, is Benny Hilly, I bow in respect, I’m not worthy :-D .

The ones about academia, often are over my head, but my online buddies Esben, Thøger and Jacob, who introduced me to xkcd, seems to get them (faster) than me, I suspect that they’re not uneducated drop-outs like me ;-) .

The computing ones, sometimes, stoop to the Benny Hill level of computing jokes, like this one:

Sandwich

Nah, it’s actually quite profound…Brilliant…For even geekier computing humour check the geohashing wiki, I’ll have to try that!

Papirbesparelse…

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

Q:
Har du forslag til besparelser indenfor print/ kopiering (sort-hvid/farve tryk) og/eller papir-forbrug, – (også gerne systemændringsforslag), så skriv dit forslag og send det til postkassen: xxxxxxxx

A:
Det gælder jo ikke kun om at begrænse medarbejdernes papirforbrug, men også den mængde papir der sendes til kunder i form af regninger, og her er der også en stor logistisk omkostning da brevene jo skal bringes ud.

Det skal også nævnes at man udover at benytte dobbeltsidet tryk, også kan udskrive flere ark på samme side, og personligt er det meget få af de dokumenter jeg udskriver på den måde, der bliver sværere at læse.

Ellers er det også relevant at vælge en papir-leverandør der prioriterer miljømæssig bæredygtighed højt, og det er ikke kun for at opnå en økonomisk besparelse på “papiret” (bevidst vittig ;-) , det må nemlig gerne koste mere, hvis det samtidig er bæredygtigt, og så er det et godt signal at sende til omverden. Noget andet er at hvis prisen er højere, kan det også virke som et inictament til at sænke forbruget yderligere.

Bortset fra det kan man rent faktisk ofte undgå helt at udskrive, det kræver bare at man lettere kan finde informationerne, og så er det vigtigt at man ikke længere sender f.eks. Word dokumenter til hinanden, men i stedet henvisninger til Intranettet/Lokalnettet, så man vendes til at læse informationer på skærmen i stedet for at udskrive den.

Systemer til vidensdeling som wikier, diskussionsfora og team blogs kan også hjælpe til at begrænse mængden af papir, der er heller ikke længere diskussion om hvilke versioner af et dokument man har. Man kan også med den slags systemer begrænse behovet for møder da projekter lettere kan diskuteres og resultater fastholdes når man bruger den slags systemer.

Det kunne også være en idé hvis der var en computer i mødelokalerne der var koblet op til lokalnettet og en storskærm, som man var SIKKER på virkede – det er min opfattelse at der bruges en del tid på at være sikker på at et mødelokale har fungerende netforbindelse etc. På denne computer vil man så kunne hente projekt dokumenter, inklusive diskussioner, så de kan diskuteres på mødet.

Principielt kan det diskuteres om det overhovedet er nøvendigt at have en harddisk i en computer, afskaffelsen af den lokale harddisk vil betyde at man altid vil gemme informationer på en sådan måde at man kan få fat i dem fra en vilkårlig computer, og derfor ikke har behov for at udskrive dokumenterne når man går på besøg hos kolleger for at diskutere dokumenterne.

Dette vil dog stille større krav til netværket, og derfor vil det være en idé at tænke i en distribueret infrastruktur, f.eks. ville det være smart hvis en udviklingsafdeling havde sin egen filserver på lokalnettet, der så blev replikeret til firmaserverne automatisk.

Konkurrencemailen er i øvrigt et “sjovt” eksempel på forkert brug af elektronisk distribution, da der er en vedhæftet fil medsendt, i stedet for et link til Intranettet.

Notorious Cyberterrorist Olaf Pirol apprehended – Spells an end to the “Al-Queda” of ICT

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

Copenhagen April 2nd 2008, for immediate release.

After what police describes as a text-book operation, notorious cyberterrorist, Olaf Pirol, can now look forward to spending the next chapter of his life behind bars.

Pirol, aged 45, was apprehended after Police investigated reports of defacing of websites run by Kim Bach and his company KiKa Consult

In a statement, Kim Bach, has difficulty hiding his exitement over the fact that Pirol has been captured, and no longer poses a threat to his business.

“April 1st has special meaning to me, and this year my company KiKa Consult is celebrating it’s 10th anniversary, so bringing an end to Pirol’s reign of terror is just great news”.

It’s unclear why Pirol, who boldly, called himself the Al-Queda of ICT, decided to target a small company and a private person, but the Police believes that Pirol felt certain, that his handy-work wouldn’t have been discovered.

Sites defaced by Pirol included the Haikijuh project and the website of KiKa Consult.

Wanted Dead or Alive for Website Defacing: Olaf Pirol – The Al-Queda of ICT!

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

In case you’ve missed it, this site was defaced by a cracker last week, most likely they were using a robot that used a wounerability in WordPress.

The evidence is mounting, and it looks like it’s the notorious Olaf Pirol – claiming to be the Al-Queda of ICT – that is the evil mastermind behind this vicious and uncalled-for attack on yours truly.

For proof look no further than these sites:

But I fear that the attack will spread during the day.

I’m completely flabbergasted by why he’s targeting me, but I guess that it’s due to the universal Karmic laws, and the fact that I’ve lost two friends within the last 6 months, due to idiocy on my part.

Paybacks are a b****, and I had it coming.

STAY TUNED.

The Pod Bay Doors have been opened – Godspeed Arthur and thank you

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008

HAL Sheeding a tear for Arthur C. ClarkeThis week, the world got a lot less interesting, when the visionary, humanist, inventor and author Arthur C. Clarke died. I really considered not commenting on it, because others would be better at it, and the picture from Joy of Tech on the left sums up my feelings.

Remembering a great visionary and humanitarian

Arthur might not be the best writer, but his clear visions, belief in humanity and always good spirit was such an inspiration.

Clarke has mostly been remembered for his two most famous contributions to the collective heritage of humankind:

  1. The movie 2001
  2. The concept of Geo-synchronous communications satellites

The only thing that I feel sorry for, is that Arthur didn’t live to witness the discovery of Extraterrestial Intelligence, which I’m sure is on the verge of happening, and when we have First Contact, I hope that the politicians and scientists read the works of Arthur C. Clarke, before trying to understand E.T., I really feel that Arthur did.

First Contact

I’ll give you an example, and it’s my favourite part from one of his books, “The Fountains of Paradise”.

As is traditional with the novells by Arthur C. Clarke, the plot contains several independent sub-plots, and that is the strongest aspect of his writing, it never gets dull, and it’s filled with humour, and insights into humanity.

The main plot in the “Fountains of Paradise” is really about the construction of an elevator to the Clarke Belt, the geo-synchronous orbit, 36,000 kms from Earth.

But the by-line is a story about First Contact – e.g. the discovery of intelligent Extraterrestrials – a favourite topic of Clarke – it’s also about Artificial Intelligence – the favourite topic of Clarke.

The sub-plot is similar to “Rendezvous with Rama”: Due to universal limits of relativity, you can only travel at sub-light speeds. Another universal law is that the ordinary life-spans are too short even for ET, so ET is investigating the universe using unmanned probes.

Earth, or rather the solar system, is visited by such a a spaceship, and onboard is a computer or more correctly an AI – that is somewhat secretive – but co-operative – and we have so much to learn, like the fact that we’re an emerging level 1 Civilisation, at least in the 22nd Century, where the book is taking place.

Clarke suggested that advanced Civilisations goes through three levels:

  1. Civilisation can control energy on Planetary level
  2. Civilisation can control energy on Solar level
  3. Civilisation can control energy on Galactical level

Needless to say we’re not even a level 0 civiisation right now. When ET finally arrives, some hundred years after the probe visited, he expresses admiration for the achievements of “such a young civilisation.

Well the computer abroad the space-probe, is co-operating and teaching us lot’s of things, without violating the rules about giving away information posessed by a higher level civilisation, so we’re only given hints, like a level 1 civilisation, has mastered the conversion of matter to energy and back – e.g. has things like matter transporters and replicators, like in Star Trek.

That is until someone at a Theological Institute decides to transmit the complete religious scriptures to the computer, it painstakingly analyses it, points out the fundamental flaws of religious thinking, shuts down communication with a comment that expresses disappointment at such tribal manners from an emerging level 1 Culture, and sorry but now you have to switch to direct communications, going to cruise mode, shutting down, bye.

Mind you, ET is 50 light-years away, so everyone was upset by the actions of the religious people, but really it was also the end of religious thought, and humanity could move on the bigger projects, like building the space elevator.

The concept of the Space Elevator was lifted from a Russian scientist Konstantin Tsiolkovsky, that Arthur credits in the closing notes of “Fountains”. Clarke also suggests that it might be possible to build it already in this century, and the concept is well thought out, and actually feasible with current technology, unfortunately the current funding of space exploration, dictates direct military benefits, and the military seems to love chemical rockets, what a shame.

Other contributions

Another important contribution by Clarke, was his 80th birthday special feature, where Discovery dedicated an entire evening to Arthur, another was his series The “Arthur C. Clarke’s Mysterious World”, where he was also dealt with myths and Urban legends, paving the way for the “Mythbusters”.

Clarke deserved the Nobel Peace Price, not least for deciding to live his final many years in war-torn Sri Lanka.

The Pod Bay doors have been opened, Godspeed Arthur

The Imperial Cinema in Copenhagen is showing “2001: A Space Odyssey” on Monday 24th of March oops April 28th at 3.45pm CEST.

Imperial has one of the best cinemas in Northern Europe, expect me to be in the audience, I can’t really think of a better way to pay tribute to Arthur, get your ticket here (link will probably expire soon ;-) ).

I’m humbled by your creative vision: The Pod Bay doors have been opened, and my God it’s full of Stars. Godspeed Arthur!

The picture that accompanies this article is from the great comic strip, The Joy of Tech. I dare to claim “fair use”, and why don’t you click here to buy some merchandise, or one of the paintings – I’d love to own “HAL 9000 shedding a tear” as a painting. BTW: I’m not making any money from providing Joy of Tech with such a link, welcome to the future of advertising ;-) .

Ward drive? Been there, done that!

Tuesday, November 6th, 2007

Kim Bach کیم پاک:
Det er pokkers…jeg har ideerne, ved stort set hvordan alt skal laves, jeg har bare ikke energien
Det er da mega frustrerende at vi sidder i hver vores hjørne af verden og spilder MASSER af tid

Jamen, Kim.. Det er bare om at udnytte al din viden! Med mine evner til at stille spørgsmål og dine evner til at svare – hvem ved … en kur mod kræft er måske målet..

Kim Bach کیم پاک:
Kan nøjes med Warp drive
(og du ved godt at de kodnings spørgsmål du stiller er sådan < 101 niveau )

Ja, I know.. Sorry..
Jeg ved godt at jeg ikke ligefrem udfordrer dig..
Men jeg lover at vi sigter efter ward drive næste gang..

Kim Bach کیم پاک:
Ward drive? been there done that LOL
Det endte med at jeg “lånte” nogle penge til en pige der påstod at hun havde været Side 9 pige og på forsiden af V-MAX
Oh well hun skrev i min “poesi-bog” så noget fik jeg da ud af det