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Missed the Alicia Keys concert

Missed the Alicia Keys concert, bummer – oh well it was strictly a-list so I didn’t really qualify. Sitting in front of the National Theatre was very strange, the paparazzi were out, and I was in the line of fire because Hanne Boel and her daughter was sitting next to me, right on the base of the statue of Adam Oehlenschlaeger – Hanne was looking very hot (shame on you Casper Christensen for that horse pun – even though it was SO funny). Hanne actually looked hotter than her very attractive daughter. From the reactions of the papparazzi, it was obvious that it was very rare to see Hanne on the town. To be fair, the danish papparazzi are quite well behaved, it’s the first time of my life I’ve seen them in action, never been that close to the a-list before.

Another thing I noticed was how quite the opposite world this was. At the “Ladies First” tour I was the “white gorilla in the mist”, and boy did that turn heads, suburban americans are quite paranoid – but this was the exact opposite. My guess is that there most likely would only be a handful of africans in the crowd, their numbers most likely dwaughed by the number of africans on stage. I considered shouting to the a-list people – including Jimmy Jørgensen (does he really like Alicia, I doubt it) if they knew that Alicia is an african, luckily I restrained myself I’m NOT a hooligan. BTW I’m looking forward to next weeks tabloids “Se & Hør” and “Kig Ind”! I overheard how one of the so-called “journalists” asked Jimmy to sit next to Hanne; Jimmy protested “men vi kender jo ikke hinanden – we’re not acquainted”. I wonder what the caption will read! Stay tuned I’ll have to find out (wonder if it will be published in the tabloid this week or not – most likely it will be next week).

Talked to a young girl who was trying to get tickets – seemed she had been in the claws of the ticket selling a..h… as well. She said that she loved Alicia and that she was such an inspiration – GO GIRL!!! Break the Commandments of Jante (more later) – be all that you can be!!! If I had had a ticket I would have given it to her – something the “selvfede” a-list would never consider even though they most likely didn’t even pay for their ticket.

I found a Tibetan Restaurant – Samsara ( close by the National Theatre – very good indeed I recommend the vegetarian dishes – I have sent them an e-mail to hear why they didn’t have any Tibetan deserts – maybe deserts doesn’t exist in Tibet. Helped some fellow dinner guests with the name of prince Jefferson (Jefferson von Pfeilundkleinellguth), I used my “lifeline” by calling my parents.

After dinner I swung by the Theatre to gently pad the building – that was the closest I got to Alicia that beautiful evening, and actually that was probably closer than I was in New York.

Alicia got rave reviews Urban ( gave 5*’s out of 6 billing her as a “Piano-Starlet” and wrote “Kongelig karat fra Alicia Keys – Royal carat from Alicia Keys – sorry but that’s an attempt at a direct translation – Royal Performace by Alicia Keys might be better”. The reviewer of Ekstra Bladet ( was not impressed! On the frontpage it read “Sygeligt Selvoptaget Alicia Keys – Sickening Selfabsorbed Alicia Keys”, oh well this is the land of the “Jantelov” (e.g. the “Commandments of Jante” or as Nancy called it “The Lemming Law”) – and since Ekstra Bladet is the premier supporter of the “Jantelov” that was to be expected. Read more about the Jantelov ( here. The link is explaining the Jantelov in quite a lot of detail, but here’s the lowdown- basically the “Commandments of Jante” dictate that “you’re worthless – du skal ikke tro du er noget”. The “Commandments of Jante” is a concept from the book “Janteloven” written by the Norwegian-Danish author Aksel Sandemos, and these commandments are very deeply rooted in the danish conscience.

Artists/people like Alicia Keys are such a kick in the rear end to the “Commandments of Jante” that it obviously provokes some Danes – maybe it even scares them!!! GET A LIFE dude and you’re getting mirror from dissing Alicia – “HVAD MED DIG SELV – du da bare en taber kalder du mig selvoptaget og efteraber. Du får dobbeltbakspejl med dug på!!! For det man siger er man selv – for det står i aktuelt at du er en selvfed amatør” – shout out to “Anden” dér thnx for borrowing the Terkel-rap (sorry I didn’t obtain a permit I hope that you forgive me???)

I have started to concieve a jantelov rap (loop and inspiration “Hvor du fra? Jeg fra Havnen by the Danish rapper Jokeren”:

Hvor du nu? Du i Danmark
Hvor du nu? F…ing Danmark

Du i Danmark, tro ik’ du er no’et
Ellers ser vi til at du mister ho’det

Så kom ik’ her med evner
Det ku’ ske at du revner

Jantelov, Jantelov troede det var for sjov
Meningen er at dine evner gør dig flov
Så lemmingeeffekten kan trænge gennem som en plov
Og gennemsnits Jensen føler han tog det fulde rov

For hvor du nu? Du i Danmark
Hvor du nu? F…ing Danmark

More to come…Additions and suggestions are welcome

Another comment on Janteloven – inspired by the FCK commericals…

Janteloven (to be chanted like at a game of football):
“Du R intet! Du R intet! Du R intet! Du R intet! – Janteloven – Du må IKKE i Danmark

Du R noget! Du R noget! Du R noget! Du R noget! – Anti-Janteloven – Du må GODT i Amerika

I posted on the official Alicia Keys message board to find out what’s she’s doing instead of the “Midtfyns Festival” gig:

Alternative to the canceled gig at Midtfyns Festival??? (
Kim Bach – 05:20am Jun 17, 2004 EST

“Now that the gig at the Midtfyns Festival – Funen, Denmark, Europe, 3rd Rock on the 25th of june 2004 – has been canceled, what will happen instead, r’n’r (you probably need it or will you play an alternative performance somewhere in Denmark, please (I’m begging because I didn’t have tickets for the concert yesterday – 16th of june 2004) at the National Theatre in Copenhagen)”

No answer – yet – and actually it was scheduled for the 24th!

BTW I noticed that all are posting using handles. I didn’t and that was probably a mistake, I guess that I’m not “netwise” these days – basically I havn’t “been out” – netwise that is – since 1992. I fear (on the brink of knowledge?) that the neighbourhood has changed since the world moved in!

PS. Does it sound like I’m a potiential Alicia stalker? Well I’m not – rest assured – but Alicia girl you have an open invitation in case you need someone to show you Copenhagen – my town and/or Denmark – my country.

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